This post combines two of the things that are important/interesting to me: wedding planning and being happy with yourself.
If you’re a plus-sized person, you know first hand how difficult it is to find clothes that fit. They are tight around one area and gape in another. Short plus-sized girls know quite well the phenomenon of everything sized 16 and over being made for someone who seems to be about 6 feet tall, and I’ve heard from tall-plus sized girls that say everything is just too short.
Most stores don’t carry your size, and if you’re in between, like me, you have to either get things too big or too small – Lane Bryant’s fit model of a size 16 makes me look like I’m wearing a tent. Most stores that sell so-called “straight” sizes have size 16s that barely cover my ass.
So what’s a plus-sized girl to do when she gets engaged?
Well, first of all, here’s what not to do: don’t go out and buy a dress five sizes too small and starve yourself and work out thirty hours a week to fit into it. Even tiny girls do it. I know, it’s tempting. You want to look “your best” on your wedding day. But doing this will only frustrate you – and if you do make it to your goal weight you’ll hate yourself at the end of the whole ordeal. Eat healthy, yes. Exercise, yes. But not because you’re trying to attain something out of reach – do those things to give yourself more energy and that healthy glow, and because you’re taking care of yourself. You’re going to be a wife, after all.
Focus, instead, on making the wedding really yours. Don’t beat yourself up because that dress doesn’t come in your size. Find one that does.
If you’re like me and have wide feet, buy your wedding shoes online at Zappos or Endless – they have a 365 day return policy, free shipping both ways, great search functions by color and heel height and size, a fabulous selection of wide-width shoes, and you can try whatever you order on in the privacy of your own home. Their prices are usually fantastic too.
I’ve collected a bunch of examples of beautiful dresses and accessories for plus-sized brides, as well as some great links to get you started. If you have found a great online resource I haven’t listed, let me know!
The Dress
Insert scary music…
Even size two brides fear “the dress.” I think it’s something to psych us all out – they make the dress sizes smaller than “street” sizes and laugh at brides who come in and get ashen. I have had friends tell me they had to buy one or even two sizes bigger than they normally wear when they bought their dresses. And you thought it was hard shopping for plus-sized clothes!
There is, of course, no rule that says you must wear a wedding dress. You can wear whatever makes you most happy and comfortable. But assuming you want what so many women do – that pretty frilly white gown that makes you feel so special and beautiful – you’ll have a little more research to do than many other women. Just go into the whole process as early as you can, and with an open mind.
Chain stores can be good – especially if you have plus-sized bridesmaids, they’ll make your job even easier. Just tell everyone to go to X store and they can all find their size. David’s Bridal has not been a good friend to me (more on that in another post, another time), but I had an excellent experience with Alfred Angelo. That said, if you’re being blatantly overlooked or ignored anywhere you go (a common complaint among plus-sized brides; I think for some reason some shop employees figure we’re just not as interesting), LEAVE. If the shop is busy, try coming back another day. If not, complain!!!
As I said, Alfred Angelo was, for me, a great experience. I had excellent service and found an incredible dress. Almost all their dresses come in “Women’s” sizes (what, is everyone else still considered a girl? guess I’m glad I’m a woman!) and they even have a plus-size line. Their “straight sizes” go up to a size 20, with “Women’s sizes” (which are more generously cut in our curviest areas) go up to a 28W. It’s not super-sized, but it’s a start. Okay, some of the models look like stick insects. But look at the “plus size” models – they’re probably no bigger than an 18 (if that), but they actually have!curves! (if no arm fat). Imagine that… The nice thing with Alfred Angelo is that they have a range of sizes in-store for you to try on. They won’t have every dress in every size, but they DO carry plus-sized dresses in their stores. And, best of all, their plus sizes run true to street size. (They also carry just about all their bridesmaids’ dresses and separates in plus sizes, but those are harder to find in-store to try on. Just an FYI.)
Just a few examples of their dresses on plus-sized women:
OMG! MY DRESS!!!! See, it's pretty awesome, isn't it?
This is a bride with some meat on her bones - and she's looking pretty hot in that dress!!
As I said, I don’t endorse David’s Bridal, but they do have some dresses in plus sizes too – their DB Woman line runs from 14-26W (also sized a little more generously around the curvy areas). Here’s one of the ones I tried on and liked:
David's Bridal plus-sized dress.
But there are alternatives to chain stores, or at least alternatives to the traditional chain bridal store.
For example, Fashion Bug has a small online Bridal Shop. You can’t try the dresses on before you buy them, which is a definite downside. But they give you all the measurements (and they really are the correct measurements, at least for their street clothing) and returns are accepted. Plus there’s not a single outfit (they’ve got a pantsuit too!) that’s over $200. Try finding a dress for that at a bridal boutique. Note: their website isn’t behaving for me. But go check it out. They’ve only got about eight styles but they’re available to size 28).
Then there’s PlusSizeBridal.com. Now, again, I can’t vouch for how good they are (although it looks like they’ve got cut-rate prices on dresses, with prices lower than Alfred Angelo can give on the same dress… hmmm…), but they definitely have some interesting options. Some of their dresses even fit up to a size 32 and (gasp) some of their designers actually photograph honest-to-goodness plus-sized models (with arm fat, even). And they look good. And I know it’s a consideration (even though I wish we could just stop worrying about it) – some of these designers make dresses *whispers* with sleeves.
Genuine plus-sized bride in a dress by Kellan-J
More links to sites with plus-sized dresses:
One tiny gripe: I never see a size 28 in any of these photos of bridal dresses. I know they’re out there – girls who look killer in a size 28 bridal gown. But the designers never show them. I could get into a mini-rant, but I won’t. Suffice it to say that there’s been a lot of growth in the plus size wedding industry, but it’s not nearly enough yet!
As for style? Stay open. I never would have picked out my dress for myself, but the rouching made me look like a total hourglass figure and the halter top and lace-up back helped hold my plus size boobies up. Which is important, yo.
Accessories
Of course, you can’t be a beautiful bride without the accessories!
A foundation is crucial, of course, to looking your best in the dress. So be sure to spring for the good stuff! If you can find one, go to a real lingerie boutique, where they undress and measure you and figure out exactly what size you should be. Even if you don’t, though, be sure you are getting the right size. </soapbox>
Some “big girl” bra stores online include:
- http://www.goddessbra.com/ - One of the best lines out there for full-figured bras. I got a longline from them for my own wedding. You’ll have to find a local or online distributor.
- http://www.biggerbras.com - they advertise that they carry up to a 56K. They don’t have much selection in the E+ sizes, but considering how impossible they can be to find…
- http://www.thebigbrashop.com/index.php - UK bra shop (so beware shipping charges) that carries up to a 58 band and up to an L cup (although not in the same bra, alas). Again, not the biggest selection of super-sized bras.
- http://www.abra4me.com – They have a great selection that you can search by size, collection, or style. And they even have a body shaper (to avoid lines and lumps!) that comes in a size 50F!
And then there’s the dreaded garter toss. Like a dope, I forgot that “one size fits all” does not my size fit, and I bought a garter on a sale rack at a craft store (I know. How wrong does that sound? But it was cute!). When push came to shove, it barely fit around my arm.
So if you’re going to do a garter toss (and if you want to, don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t!), do yourself a favor and get a plus-sized one to wear. I did some research when I was looking for mine (ended up finding one that fit perfectly at my lingerie shop, of all things) and found a few places online to share:
I don’t think for a minute that plus-sized gals need to worry about plus-sized veils or tiaras (if someone tries to sell you one, I’d laugh in her face). Even my bowling ball head fit a regular tiara just fine (most will adjust a few inches one way or another). But of course there are some other fun accessories you might want to consider.
- Plus-sized gloves! Because opera-length gloves can be super-elegant and beautiful on any bride, and while many of us actually have tiny wrists and fingers, I’m constantly surprised at “straight”-sized accessories that seem to be made for midgets. I found two sites selling them:
- Bolero Jackets and Shawls. Especially if you’re getting married in a cool climate or during the winter, you’ll want to have one of these on hand to match your dress. A few sites stock them in sizes up to 3 or 4 X:
- Also, don’t forget spanx or other foundation undergarments! They help dresses look smooth and feel beautiful. Just because you love your body the way it is doesn’t mean you can’t wear the “proper” underwear (even super-skinny chicks swear by the right undergarments!!!). There are several different brands out there, too. Check out Assets – they’re by the same designer as Spanx but sell for about half the price (I got mine at Target). And yes, their size 6 is supposed to fit up to a 6′, 300 lb girl… Not sure how accurate that is, but that’s what they say!
- Many plus-sized girls DO have plus-sized fingers. This is not a bad thing. It just IS. If you have a large bone structure, you can lose 50 pounds and still have large fingers. If you’re a ring size 9 or larger, you might have some trouble finding a truly feminine wedding band. But I did find this site (can’t speak to their quality or service) that has beautiful, feminine wedding bands for sizes up to 15.5 (quarter- and half-sizes too!). They’re a bit pricey, but it may be worth it to find your perfect wedding band in a size you can wear comfortably without paying for a custom-made piece.
One last thing every bride must have: lingerie that makes her feel sexy! And don’t argue with me – this is a vital part of your wedding purchase. Heck knows Victoria’s Secret’s “Sexy Little Bride” collection won’t fit you (true story: I bought a pair of their undies in size L – the largest they make – and tried them on. Wouldn’t go past my knee.). If you’re marrying the guy, you’d best be aware he wants to see you in lingerie! Again, I can’t vouch for every one of these stores, but I saw some cute items at the following places. WARNING! Not work appropriate! Some of this stuff is pretty hot!!!
And this is by no means a necessary item… In fact, it made me a little miffed… But I had to share something I found when I was researching yesterday’s post on cake toppers. This is supposed to be a “curvy” version! True plus-sized brides, laugh with me!
If you’d really like your cake topper to look like you, you’ll have to do a bit more looking and probably pay a bit more money. I’ve been searching for “plus-sized cake topper” and even “fat cake topper” (which made me cringe) and it looks like they just don’t make ‘em. Which shows you how far the industry has to go. BUT you might be able to convince one of the companies that does custom work to do a statuette of you – for a hefty fee – and get something that resembles you. Check them out:
- The Younique Boutique - Think $350+. But they say they do custom bodies. I didn’t see a single “fat girl” on there, though.
- Clay Figurines.com - I didn’t think their stuff looked as good as the site above, but they’re only in the $150-200 range.
- Thumb Print Kids - Ahem. WAY out of the range of most anyone you can imagine, at $2800 for a bride and groom together. But they are SO gorgeous, and they seem to do a great job of getting size right. Can I register for one of these now that I’m already married? I want!
Genuine plus-sized topper from Thumb Print Kids. See how gorgeous their work is?
